I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I deserve this hangover.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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