You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
