you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
