Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have fence marks all over my body
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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