It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
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You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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