just survived the first fart of the relationship.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
