as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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