The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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