good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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