I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
