Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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