Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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