Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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