Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
