nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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