I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
