Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on

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(607): I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on http://tfl.nu/pu4k

Replies (2) Good night (2201) Bad night (862)
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(217): View more from Illinois

My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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(217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38

Replies (5) Good night (1034) Bad night (2005)
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(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94

Replies (236) Good night (66084) Bad night (2903)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.

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(270): I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song. http://tfl.nu/5506

Replies (14) Good night (3237) Bad night (873)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.

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(952): i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right. http://tfl.nu/wcm0

Replies (46) Good night (5638) Bad night (2139)
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(516): View more from New York

They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.

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(516): They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were. http://tfl.nu/skxs

Replies (5) Good night (5382) Bad night (1008)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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(781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217

Replies (6) Good night (3290) Bad night (850)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

(513): View more from Ohio

Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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(978): He's almost as awesome as vicodin. (513): Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you http://tfl.nu/u3r1

Replies (8) Good night (2518) Bad night (750)
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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!

(623): View more from Arizona

It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...

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(602): If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection! (623): It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now... http://tfl.nu/u3ol

Replies (6) Good night (2569) Bad night (828)
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(360): View more from Washington

I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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(360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2

Replies (5) Good night (1677) Bad night (563)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Touche salesman.

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(402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32

Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (515)
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(425): View more from Washington

I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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(425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d

Replies (7) Good night (1716) Bad night (606)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.

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(603): Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj. http://tfl.nu/n7sy

Replies (6) Good night (1139) Bad night (372)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in

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(484): he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in http://tfl.nu/1zjs

Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (311)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

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(570): I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/4cua

Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (273)

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