i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year