Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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