...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp