she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.