areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
