I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
