Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
