i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
