puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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