What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize