Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
