after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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