On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
