This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
