porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
