Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize