This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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