I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
