I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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