I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
