we were pretty classy up until the second keg
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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