New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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