It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
