the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
