first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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