Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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