barbara walters just said penis...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
