I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
