Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
