someone get that fucking seahorse.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
