i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
