have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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