The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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