Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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