hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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