You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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