You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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