38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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