Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
