Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
