did you get engaged???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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