You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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