Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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