I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
