Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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