I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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