i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
