Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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