No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays