All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
