He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
