no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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