Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
